The Life of Ordinary Me


Март 2016

A to Z.Countdown

signpost_vector The challenge starts in a couple of hours , and I’m sooo not ready! Thinking ,worrying,planning….. There are so many directions  I can go .Which one should I take?

I think, i will just pick up the words meaning something to me , or the words which ARE me. Shall I call it The Ordinary Me from A to Z ? 🙂 

I have a folder ,called A to Z ,so you can find challenge posts easily .

I will try to visit so many of your blogs , as possible . Hopefully,you’ll read mine  too.

I will comment, and  I hope ,that you do the same . Comments,questions,suggestions,critik,praise ,hate,love….All is welcome . And  i will answer you. Maybe not straight away , but i will do.

There is just one thing  I want to say , before the game begins.I want to say

Big Thank You ,My Followers ! You are the reason  i keep going!









A to Z

I think,that I was abducted by aliens. They’ve conducted some experiments on me ,and now I’m absolutely nuts.

How else can  i explain , that  i’m doing  A to Z challenge ? I even don’t consider myself to be a blogger. Well,not yet.  I’m a beginner with just a couple of random posts out there.

But still, i’m doing this. Oh,dear:)

26 days,26 letters,26 posts…    A to Z…

I have no plan and no idea , what I’m going to write about .I even not sure,if  i make the whole run, but…..

I have nothing to lose. I might even make some new friends along the way:) And it will be simply fun to be part of this game.

Are YOU up for a challenge and meeting new people? Than have a look here for more info.

Join in and have fun!








I’m not religious…


I‘m not religious. How can I be, if we had no God in the USSR? Religion was not officially outlawed: you could go to church, if you were ready to risk your “good name“, and if you could find one open church at all.

Most of the Russian people were religious believers prior the 1917 revolution, and the Orthodox Church was  involved not only in ordinary peoples lifes, but was deeply integrated in the monarchy.


It didn’t go down well with the Bolsheviks (The Communist Party of Soviet Union), who came to Power after the 1917 revolution. The Church was not only the face of the old order, but a dangerous competitor in fight for people’s loyalty. There could be no other authority in the young soviet Russia, but The Party. The Witch-hunt began…

Religious buildings were destroyed or turned into warehouses, housing, workshops, worker’s clubs and even public toilets. The believers were sent to prisons, labour camps and mental hospitals. By the 1941, there were only 500 out of 54 000 churches open , and thousands of people paid dearly for believing in God.

Atheism was taught in schools; rich in tradition religious ceremonies, such as weddings and funerals, were replaced by the “right” soviet alternatives and practises …

During WW2 the Orthodox Church was “restored”: The Red Army suffered major defeats,warsovpost_00001 and Stalin needed every man and women, every soul for, what he called,”Sacred War“. He reopened thousands of churches and allowed religious publications and services in order to boost patriotism in people.

After the War, religion was tolerated to a certain degree: people were free to worship in private and in remained churches. But any public display of believing in God was a no-go. The churches were still being closed on a daily basis, and people were still sent in exile and prisons for their believes. The God was once again enemy of the state.

I’m not religious. I just couldn’t be .By the time I was born, religion was invisible, nearly non-existent under the control of the Communist Party. One could hear one word here, a whisper there…Just few faint words behind the closed doors.

When my grandma had insisted, that I must be baptised, I was 7 or 8 years old. I had no idea, what baptising means (maybe something like a birthday party?), and could not understand, why my mum cries at nights after intense arguments with my grandma.My mum was a member in The Communist Party, just like the majority of the USSR people. You had to be, or you were against the Regime and had no place in the socialistic paradise. She was just scared.

Eventually, I WAS baptised, my grandma was happy and my mum got off with a visit to local authorities and a lecture on being the right kind of communist. Sweet 80s.

141960_originalIn the school, there were no lessons on religion either. Instead, we had to learn how to march. Once in a week we had to gather us outside , or, if the weather was bad, in our school gym and march in an organised order.

“Left.Left.One Two Three. Left.Left.One Two Three”

Hour after hour, after hour we were marching and singing patriotic songs.

“Left.Left.One Two Three.We wiiiiiiiil destrooooooy the o-old world …»   There was no God in our lifes.

 I’m not religious, but I believe .

I believe in being kind to others  and not judging people. It doesn’t matter what language you speak ,your skin colour ,which God you are praying to…Just have your heart in the right place and we are ok.

There was no God in our life back then,but I finaly found one. His name is Love…



















An Enemy Within



Well, it did not go as planned, and, to be honest, I had no plan at all.

I was just a kid, maybe a bit strange one, but still just a kid. I had all the time in the world to figure out, who I want to be and what the Life is all about.

The future was bright, and I had nothing to worry about.

At 42, I am stuck with a job, a hate with the whole of my heart. My entertainment consists of quarterly health check-ups, complimented with a daily dose of pills needed to keep my system up and running.

My family-my man, who a few years back was just a holiday romance, and a small ball of wool with big eyes, who thinks, that she is the Alpha Dog in the family — is on the verge of financial catastrophe.

Suddenly I’m an adult, but I don’t know the person on the other side of the mirror.And I have no idea,where did it all go wrong.

I am scared. Simple like that.


Can anybody tell me, where the ‘RESET’ button is,please ?

I would, without thinking a second, reinstall the whole operating system, keeping some memories and experiences. I would start all over again.


But there is no such thing, like ‘RESET YOUR LIFE’ button, right? I should better  talk to that man in the mirror then . He is the only one, who knows me well. He knows all my fears and hopes, all my quirks and secrets, all my ups and downs.                                              

I have questions, he has answers…I hope, that he does. One answer, one word can trigger that ‘reset’ function.

It is a dangerous journey to the depths of myself. And I am absolutely terrified not knowing, which discoveries I will make on the road. What will I find once I have reached the bottom?

I am terrified, but there is no other option. It is that or game over. And I’m not ready to give up yet. I will fight, so much can I promise. I just need to learn all about my biggest enemy-MYSELF.

 There is a great quote by Sun Tzu ( 544 BC-496 BC), a Chinese general , military strategist and philosopher :

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

There is just one thing I want to ask before I leave the comfort of not knowing:

Will you join me on this journey?

Maybe you have your own battle to win, and we can share tactics.Maybe you have won already, and your story will give me strength to carry on, when the things get tough.

This way or another, let me know that you are out there…………  








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