My father was an alien. It’s not a Joke-I saw his passport! Probably, somebody tipped the Latvian passport people, that something is not quite right in our family. Maybe they’ve sensed it themselves. For me it is just the stupidity of the time, when my small country left the USSR, and nobody knew what to do with the freedom.
Suddenly, long time neighbours didn’t speak your language and advised you to go back to Russia. But my father WAS born in this country. So was my mum, and so was I. It didn’t really matter, and some weeks after applying for Latvian citizenship, I and my mum got Latvian passports, my father became officially an alien.
But you know what? The Authorities have got it wrong! It was me, who was from another planet. I (!) was the monster!
So far I can remember, I never felt as if I belong. I was just too sensitive and “arty”.
Instead of playing football with other boys, I was reading books. When I was not reading, I was talking non-stop, and everybody begged me to shut up at least until the second hand make the whole circle on a clock.It was quite a challenge for a little boy I was then. And when I could not talk, I sang. I gave the shows of my life in the playground for those, who watched. I’ve singed my heart out; I’ve danced as if there is no tomorrow … I just wanted to belong, to be accepted. Instead, I was laughed at by girls, beaten up by boys, and screamed at by my father at “after show party “. I was an embarrassment, and I confirmed it every time with my tears. Mum tried to protect me, but heavy fist flying righ in her face would put an end to any discussion.Well, it was so untill I was able to protect myself.
But back then, there were only an 8 years old alien and his mum. I looked into her sad loving eyes and learned, that it’s ok to be different. No matter what everybody says and thinks. It is ok to be true to yourself and follow your heart… Those eyes taught me not to judge…
I don’t sing no more –the voice is gone with the smoke of many thousands cigarettes; and my dancing shoes are covered with centuries’ dust; and I’m not chasing that acceptance I craved for an eternity ago… I choose to accept instead.
I’m just an ALIEN wondering the streets of Life!