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The world slows down. No cars, no people, not a weakest light in a single window…It’s quiet out there… The Night is claiming the streets to itself…

I cannot sleep. Once again the Darkness needs a company, and I stop breathing, too scared, that tonight I’m on the line. Once again…

I don’t move, trying to hide behind false hopes, that this night I’ll have the privilege to escape unnoticed in the land of nothing … I just need to close my eyes and drift away in the safety of not being here. All in vain… I cannot cheat that bastard. He’s already here, and I ‘m the host to the wicked games. Once again…

There is no tea and small talk between us: we passed this stage long ago. We both know, how it goes, but I’m still unprepared for what follows: in the blink of an eye the knife of memories is out, and I’m cut open for inspection. No comforting words, no painkillers…Just a clean cut.

The cold eyes examine the wounds left last night. Those are starting to heal already, but that’s cheating.I’m not allowed to flee and abandon my night visitor. Finding another partner for his twisted games is too much of a trouble. And  competent fingers take hold of the scabs and tear those away. One by one…Slow calculated movements… I scream inside, but there is nobody to hear me . The world  doesn’t exist no more…

The flashbacks of memories hit me like electroshock delivered right to the naked brain. Wrapped in pain I see the familiar faces of the people long gone. I want to reach out to them, but I’m paralysed with fresh injection of cruel words, said in the heat of a moment. I want to say ,that  I’m sorry . I really am. It’s too late-the faces are gone , and my «sorry» just hangs there in a deafening emptiness.

I’m treated to a plate of loneliness and fear, and when I’m stuffed to the point of exploding in millions tears, I’m locked in a cage of self-doubt and left there to bleed my heart out… The Darkness watches over me. Hour after hour……Disappointed, that I’m still breathing, it leaves.

 I curl up on a couch and close the eyes.

A new day is waking up. I know, it will comfort me with the sound of life going on and put a thick layer of hope on my fresh wounds. Hiding the pain behind the smile, I clean up the mess of the last night and go out. I need to catch some rays of light before the Darkness returns. It will. Maybe not tonight, but it will. And then I will have the Light to hold on tight.

Eventually, I’ll win this game. Wish me luck…

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